Well, after yesterday’s proud humility, comes the inevitable fall. I was out, jetsetting around the coast. I was prepared with nuts, fruit and boiling water in a thermos for some herbal tea. I’d drunk my one coffee for the day and,…. well, I confess,… I bought a coffee. Not only did I not need the coffee (since I had already drunk one an hour or two before), the coffee was not part of my fast and neither was the MILK it was made from.

I do feel like I have committed a monumental blunder here. I wonder about the implications for the rest of my fast. Does God turn his face away from me now? Do I have to pay some kind of fasting penance?

No. I do need to come before God and repent though. My heart,…. the heart attitude that made me buy that coffee when I didn’t need one, was one of selfishness and pride. My focus was not on God but on me and my body and how nice it would make me feel to drink a warm milky coffee on this miserable rain-flooded day. Even as I ordered it, I felt guilty. Repentance is necessary,…

But I know that as I come to God with a sorry heart and seek forgiveness he will be faithful and just and He will give me more opportunities to draw near to Him.

Psalm 113

1 Praise the LORD.
Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.

2 Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.

3 From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.

4 The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.

5 Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,

6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?

7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;

8 he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.

9 He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD.

I love the promises of God. These are what I am holding out for with this fast. I am reminding God of the good promises He has made to me, the barren woman, who doesn’t have enough money for a home.