There’s nothing spiritual prompting today’s entry,… just big dose of inadequacy and guilt. I feel guilty because I’m avoiding Church this month. It’s Rise and Build month – the time when they try to inspire us to give into the Church building fund. Forget the fact that I struggle to tithe (that’s a whole other post) let alone fund the redevelopment of the multi-purpose zone!
Rise and build is based on David’s declaration that he would not rest until he rebuilt the temple, and his request to Solomon to carry it out in 1 Chronicles 22:19.
But I feel less like David and more like the widow who gave two coins in Mark 12:41-44. Jesus said she gave more because she gave all she had. That’s when I see the contrast and I am reminded that Jesus did things differently to the Old Testament. He was full of grace and exhorted those around him to be the same.
Oh, I’m sure there’s nothing ‘ungracious’ about rise and build programs per se, or the testimonies from people who got so blessed from giving a whole stack of money to it,… But I’m probably carrying wounds. The memory of a house, once ours, given up for more important things,… like health, like retraining, like having kids.
One day we’ll have a home of our own, and so will C3KW. One day they’ll get there. Right now we just have to put up with our landlord and rest in the Grace of God.
I am reminded of the words of an old Amy Grant song,…
“All I ever have to be is what you made me,
Any more or less would be a step out of your plan.
As you daily recreate me let me always keep in mind,
that I only have to do what I can find,
and all I ever have to be, all I have to be,
is what you made me.”
Even if I can’t measure up, even if I can’t be at all the events, Jesus loves me. Even if I can’t find 2 cents to give, even if I can’t worship in my heart today, Jesus loves me.
He loves me because I accepted Him as my saviour. I don’t have to do all that stuff or be all that stuff. I just have to trust Him. Jesus loves me.