Our Gracey-goo moments after birth
A peek in God’s nursery room

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Matthew 6:33 (King James Version)

I have so much to find, so much seeking to do. As I reflect on what I was missing and how much I grieved during IVF and trying to conceive for so long, I realised that I found a LOT of God. More than many people ever discover.

I am so privileged to know God. I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour when I was a young child – maybe 8 years old. I was baptised in the next year or so standing alongside my sister, Jodi.

I have lived a life of spiritual privilege. I grew up with Christian parents who loved me enough to pray for me daily. (I wish I could give my kids that gift!).

As an adult, when the obligation to seek God was mine alone, He made sure I did. How? For me, PCOS is like Paul’s thorn in the flesh. It made me desperate. It was either going to push me towards God or far far away from Him. I had enough sense to run towards God. I had the beauty of His comfort, the warmth of His touch and the hope of His promises as I walked through the darkest days of my life.

Ironically, these days feel no easier. Motherhood is so exhausting that I am sick and my body can’t seem to heal itself from a bout of winter flu and sinusitis. I have had it over seven weeks now. Three courses of antibiotics failed to eliminate the symptoms. I am sleep deprived and mums get no sick leave. I must soldier on for my two kids and my darling husband.

These days may feel just as hard as those dry years, but now they are punctuated with joy. The grief is gone and I have discovered that the joy of the Lord IS my strength.

I have learned that He blessed me in the hard times and in the good. This knowledge is a treasure. But when I read the verse “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,…” I realise there is so much more treasure to find in God’s house. I’ve only peeked in the baby’s nursery. I wonder what the rest of His kingdom is like?

You can find Jesus too if you seek Him with all your heart. The first step is to pray and ask Him to reveal himself to you. As an eight year old, I remember the prayer I prayed that started it all for me. People in my family had become Christians and I wondered what it was all about. I was standing in the schoolyard, lined up with my mates, waiting for the teacher when I prayed inside my head.

“God,

I don’t know if you’re real, but if you are I want you to show me.

Amen.”

If you pray this prayer with sincerity, God will be faithful and He will show you in a thousand ways.